This morning, while preparing breakfast – toasting a bagel and pouring cereal – Monkey Man began telling Hubby about the man who moved the bucket in the parking lot. Hubby was completely confused, not understanding what Monkey Man was talking about. Monkey Man is almost 4, and tells very coherent, logical stories, so Hubby was thrown. It was then that I needed to step in and fess up.
Yesterday, while parking at Target with Monkey Man, I patiently waited with my blinker on for a car pulling out of a parking spot. As soon as the car was almost fully out of the spot, a car pulled around the front of the lane and zipped right into the spot! There are several things that make this situation BAD: 1) I am hormonal 2) I am from New Jersey 3) You freakin’ took my parking spot!
And this is what could be heard in my car:
Me: “You f***in’...” (I stopped myself from using the next word that rhymes with witch after I realized I just said a VERY BAD word)
Monkey Man: “Mommy, why’d you say f***in’?”
Me: (thinking, crap, crap, I need a diversion)
Monkey Man: (who still didn’t get an answer) “Mommy, I asked why’d you say f***in’?”
Me: “Oh, I said BUCKET. There was a bucket in the parking lot and I almost ran over it!”
Monkey Man: “Where’s the bucket? I don’t see it.”
Me: “The man took it away so I wouldn’t run over it.” (At this point, Monkey Man is probably thinking he’s lost his mind – there wasn’t a man in sight, and certainly no bucket)
Monkey Man: “That was nice of the man to move the bucket.”
Me: “Yes it was. Yes it was.”
(Special apology to my mom who reads this blog and taught me better– sorry for my potty mouth.)