Friday, April 30, 2010

Memo to Mr. Pop'em

TO: Entenmann's CEO
FROM: A concerned consumer
RE: Holiday Pop'ems production calendar
DATE: April 30, 2010

I am a lover of your Holiday Pop'ems line. Your regular Pop'ems are fine, I've indulged in those basic donut holes just a few times in my life, and they are quite easy to pass by in the grocery store without drool dripping down my chin. But the Holiday Pop'em, the chocolate variety layered in sprinkles, beckon to me like a choir of angels. A choir of sadistic angels that know very well that I workout hard and nearly kill myself in kickboxing. Yet they sing to me, shout to me, practically bounce their way out of the box right into my mouth.

As ridiculously addicting and bad for every part of my body as these delectable balls are, they just aren't around enough throughout the year. As you know, these Holiday Pop'ems only come out a few times a year: Christmas, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, 4th of July, and Halloween. Let me tell you, CEO, there is entirely TOO MUCH TIME between Easter and the 4th of July AND THEN between the celebration of our nation's independence to Halloween.

And this is where my complaint letter becomes a helpful letter with a solution. Let me introduce to you the Mother’s Day Pop’em. Every mother on this planet wants little else but to indulge in some evil, sugary treat (or indulge in alcohol, but one can still function and raise children under the influence of the Pop’em. Although I have eaten myself into a sugar coma on occasion from the inhaling of one too many. It hasn’t caused me to miss school pick up, but I did have to wipe my chin extra good from the multi-colored sprinkle goatee I gave myself).

The Mother’s Day Pop’em could have pretty multi-colored sprinkles to represent the beautiful mommies out there, all quite different but yet all the same in their love of chocolate and sugar and heaven (oh, yes, and our love for our children).

I'm still working on the filler for that 4th of July to Halloween gap. In addition to the Holiday Pop’em, I do love Italian food, so maybe Columbus Day to thank the Italians for some kickass cuisine. And MTV's Jersey Shore. Yes, there you have it. We definitely need a Pop'em to thank our fine Italian friends for producing such outstanding people as Snooki and Pauly D.

Someone who would really just like sprinkled Pop'ems 365 days a year

Friday, April 16, 2010

Monkey Man Springs Into Action!

Monkey Man DOES. NOT. STOP. moving, making us laugh, making me beg for bedtime, making me wonder as soon as I wake up, "What will today bring me?", making me smile.

We welcomed spring with lots of activities and to officially kickoff spring and lots of days outside playing and enjoying the sunshine, here are some pics of Monkey being...well, Monkey Man!

Here comes Peter Cotton...wait! Since when did Peter Cottontail start using an iPod? Oh, it's just Monkey Man! He announced as he walked into the office, "I wanted to make you laugh!" Mission Accomplished!

We welcomed the Easter Bunny with some sidewalk chalk art on one of our unusually not-crappy spring days in NJ!

Monkey Man dons his designer tie for the preschool Easter parade. Fabulous tie design by Mommy, Inc.

Now you can all see where Monkey Man inherited his wackiness!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Shhh…I Have a Secret!

I have a secret that I just need to get out there in the open. It’s one that few would expect of me, even my closest friends. So, I figured this is the perfect forum to let it out. Because with a secret THIS BIG, why not do it big?

Okay, deep breath, here it goes.

When I’m in my car, I listen to Christian rock radio. (GASP! Jaws agape. The crowd roars, “NO! YOU?”) I know, I know. You are thinking, “But you have raised your child on Def Leppard and Winger! Monkey Man rocks out and YOU! - YOU listen to Christian music?” Yes, blasphemous. I know. But please, rest assured, the Christian Rock will never squelch the raging 80s rocker and 90s dancer that lives inside me.

So my retreat, my respite upon getting in my car is tuning the dial to Star 99.1. I can’t help myself. I am not a particularly religious person. (Okay, brief rundown on my religious beliefs - I do believe in Jesus but I also believe that everyone has the right to their own beliefs. I don’t think my way is the only way. I am very open to all walks of life. Okay, there you have it.) But I love getting in my car and listening to inspiring music, music that restores my faith, reminds me to hope, and tugs at my heart to remember the truly important things in life. But I can also totally get down with Timbaland and Justin Timberlake’s “Carry Out.” That’s just how I roll.

My husband thinks this little quirk about me is funny (the Christian rock thing, not so much the “Carry Out.” He’s known for a long time my love of bad pop music). He KNOWS me, and knows I am so not the girl that walks around praising the Lord and throwing around Hallellujahs (Please Note: There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. I am just not one to do it). So he thinks it’s hysterically funny when I walk around the house dropping the F-bomb when I walk into the wall for the 3rd time that day (but NOT when Monkey Man is around!), then he gets in the car that I was last driving and he’s reminded about how much Jesus loves him. But I tell him, “Jesus loves me so much that he understands how freaking annoying it is that I have no depth perception!”

So, my perfect concert? Let’s start it off with a few Def Leppard songs. Throw in some Christian rock to remind us that life is not all about spandex and mullets. Then top it off with Rick Springfield. Because what would a great concert be without attempting to grab Rick’s butt?

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Thank you, Jesus!

Monkey Man was having some trouble buckling his seat belt today. It kept locking when he pulled on it, so he asked me for help. I twisted my body to face the backseat, pulled on it a few times, broke a sweat, but finally got it to stretch out so that I could buckle it. When it clicked, Monkey Man, said, "Thank you, Jesus!"

"What are you thanking Jesus for?" I laughed, thinking he was in the middle of some sort of silent prayer and getting all charismatic on me.

"I thanked Jesus for helping me with the seat belt."

Okay, fine. I guess I'll let Jesus take the credit. This is his big week. Next week, though, it's all mommy.