Wednesday, November 16, 2011

On the 2nd Day of Thanksgiving...

Oh, and the 3rd day. Oops.

Day 2
Today I am thankful for Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi, preferably Pepsi, but honestly, I'll take whatever is on sale or in the vending machine. I don't drink coffee and I'm so tired that as soon as I get up in the morning I can't wait until it's 16 hours later and I can crawl right back into bed. That artificially sweet beverage is my special treat at lunchtime and I hug it like a baby with its blankie. I just wish it didn't look so weird when I curl up next to it in the Faculty room for my nappie.

Day 3
Today I am also thankful for mindless "reality" television. I am addicted to Real Housewives of New Jersey, New York, Beverly Hills, and Orange County. I also love me some Jersey Shore, in particular Paulie D and Vinnie. Everyone needs time to just sit in front of a TV and let their minds melt. I am also thankful that I have the courage to tell people that I actually watch these shows while so many walk around saying, "Oh, that's garbage. I don't watch that. I read books." Books. Yeah, yeah, we all read books. So, good for you. While you are boring your friends at parties with talk of Middle East nonsense, I am fighting back the beat and discussing at length whether one can be a Real Housewife when one is not married.

Monday, November 14, 2011

The 11 Days of Thanksgiving

Why 11 days? Because I meant to start this on November 1 and write something every day for which I am thankful and end on Thanksgiving. However, since I am 2 weeks late, you get 11 days.

Most everyone is thankful for the same kinds of things: family, children, spouses, the family pet, a job, a roof over their heads, blah, blah, blah. Don’t get me wrong, I am also grateful for those things. But that’s so borrring. There are lots of other things for which I am grateful, too. And I know you are dying to know what these are! I must add, these are in no particular order.

Day 1
I am thankful for pajamas. My perfect world would have us all living harmoniously together in colorful plaid pants, pajamas with stripes, polka dots, animals, and paired with a sweatshirt of some kind, preferably one that is well-loved with at least 10 years mileage on it. And yes, my perfect world would also have Rick Springfield romping around next to me in his most rockin' sleeping attire.

The moment I walk in the door from my day, my day meaning I had to go out into the public, I disappear into my room like Superman retreating into his phone booth, and appear moments later in some combination of super comfy pj bottoms and some top that usually never matches. I am sure Monkey Man will remember me fondly by telling people, “Yeah, my mom dressed like a slob and was lazy. Always in those pajamas.”

No matter the occupation, pajamas would be worn at Board meetings, in classrooms, while fighting crime, or ringing up groceries. Lawyers would try the world’s worst criminals in their finest sleepwear. Moms would gather with their children at the park all decked out in their pjs. Oh, how this would eliminate moms looking each other up and down like middle school girls! Unless they were totally jealous that they didn’t have the cupcakes on their pjs.