Like a Llama or an Emu

My husband and I were away in Philadelphia for this little thing we have going on the side, a job. I’ve never gone into detail about my job, but I get the pleasure (most days) of working with my husband. And sometimes we have to go away. And sometimes when we go away, we get to have fun. I know, it’s crazy. Two responsible parents having fun. We might burn in hell.

Our fun consisted of an opening night reception at the 30^th Street Station. (Hubby is a cartoonist, as you might know from reading this blog, and we were at the Association of Alternative Newspapers Convention selling his comic). Short of wearing a bikini and a sandwich board, we needed to do something in order to chat it up with the good newspaper folks. Here comes the brilliant idea: We decided to split up during the reception to network.

A few things I discovered after three glasses of wine:

• Contrary to what my husband thinks, I can flirt.
• The lure of ground beef. After 2 ½ years of hamburger-free living, I stood on line to get myself a mini-delicacy by one of the greatest pubs in Philly. Don’t ask me the name of it, remember I had 3 glasses of wine. I took one bite and remembered why I don’t eat hamburgers anymore. They bleed. At least this one did.
• Some editor guy told me that he had heard that the “hamburger” was actually an emu-burger. I don’t know if this was true, but I can tell you what IS true. This person then went on to ask me, “What is emu?” Sans 3 glasses of wine, I totally know it’s like an ostrich. After imbibing, I answered: “It’s like a llama.” For some reason, the first thing that popped into my chardonnay-soaked brain was the line in the song, If I Had a Million Dollars by the Barenaked Ladies - If I had a million dollars,well, I'd buy you an exotic pet - yep, like a llama or an emu.

Like I learned from the D.A.R.E. officer way back in 5^th grade, alcohol really does impair the brain. If that editor remembered our conversation and learned what an emu is, an animal quite unlike a llama, I’m pretty confident I won’t be hearing back from him. Lesson learned: I will no longer try to make a sales pitch with the hooch in hand.