You'll Never Guess What Hit My Car

Upon leaving a perfectly peaceful trip to the library today, I was met by some sort of UFO hurling towards my car. After buckling up Monkey Man, I began to get out of the backseat to make my way to the front when I looked out the back window and saw a small, silver disk barreling its way to my window. CRACK! “What the *&$# was that?” I said in my head, or maybe not in my head, but since Monkey Man was in the car, we’ll pretend it was all said internally.

I got out of the car and a man approached me. I was in the parking lot of a suburban library at 4 p.m., so I wasn’t really expecting any trouble. “Sorry, ma’am, that was me. I was throwing my stale Peppermint Pattie into the woods and it hit your car.” So it did, genius.

I have two simple questions:

1. Why are you throwing a wrapped Peppermint Pattie into the woods – the candy might be biodegradable but the shiny outside wrapping most certainly is not.

And the 2^nd and more important question:
2. Stale or not - WHY ARE YOU THROWING OUT CHOCOLATE???