It's All About Me

I'm turning 35 tomorrow. Part of me is amazed and freaked out by this, the other part doesn't really care. I don't care too much because I still feel like I'm 16 (and act like it, except when I have to be all Mom and pay a mortgage, feed the family, buy groceries, make appointments...I'm boring myself). That's the amazing part, too. How did I get here? Really, 35? I'm responsible for human life and the roof over my head? Wow. The more I think about it, the more I need a Xanax.

In honor of my birthday, here is some useless information about the person I am at the ripe old age of 35:

1. When I retire, which at this rate will be when I’m 85 as I watch my retirement fund jump off a building, I want to travel the country in an RV with the hubby. Of course, I want it to be one of those crazy apartments on wheels with the walls that extend out, granite countertops, and a master suite. I like the comforts of home, but I want my home to go all over the country. When we are done traveling, I want to move to Hawaii. It’s a simple plan, really.

2. I am pretty quiet around people I don't know well. But once I get to know you, I’m not so quiet anymore. People are sometimes surprised at just how different I can be. It's all about my comfort zone, and I enjoy my comfort zone.

3. I am a neat freak. It gives me great peace and joy to throw out stuff and organize. I am that person that can have someone tell me they are stopping by in 10 minutes, and my house is usually neat. Even with a 4 year-old Monkey Man, I manage to keep his toys and everything else contained, probably to a point where I am raising a neurotic, OCD child. Oh well. The bright side is hopefully his future significant other will appreciate me.

4. I'm afraid of birds, fish, serial killers and flying. Birds are unavoidable, so if they swoop down too close, I freak out. Fish are pretty avoidable and my fear of them is why Monkey Man will never have a goldfish named Goldie. As for serial killers, I’m pretty much convinced they lurk around every van ready to pull me in. And flying, I absolutely HATE it, but I love to travel, so my fear won’t stop me.

5. I found out I was pregnant with Monkey Man in a restroom in Wendy's in Kentucky (on our cross country road trip for my 30th birthday). This is a sign of my impatience. I could not wait another few hours until we arrived at hubby's grandmother's in southern Illinois. Nope. Had to know right away, even if I had to pee on a stick in a public restroom. I walked in to that bathroom not knowing what was about to show up on that stick, and walked out feeling like my world was about to change forever. Although Monkey Man was totally in our plans, that feeling was right on.

Tomorrow I will don a birthday hat and eat cookies for breakfast. Because it's my birthday, and there's almost nothing I love more than cookies. Except naps. I'll try to sneak that in tomorrow, too.