This Elf Needs A Little Help

I grew up with a traditional Advent Calendar, and by traditional I mean a cardboard calendar with tiny chocolates behind each door. We bought this kind for Monkey Man for the first few years, and then I had a realization. While one could argue that chocolate in any form is good just for the simple fact that it’s chocolate, I have to disagree. The chocolate in cardboard Advent Calendars is gross. And this is coming from a woman who would probably eat chocolate out of a garbage can if my hormones were wired just right that day.

So last year, I decided to use our cute Christmas countdown calendar – it is made from felt, has a jolly Santa, Rudolph, and Frosty on it, and is adorned with pockets for December 1 through December 24. There is a little candy cane tied to a ribbon that we use to mark each day closer to the arrival of Santa, er, Jesus. Last year I put a treat in the pocket each night and we told Monkey Man that the Elf came each night to leave a treat. Treats included a Hershey’s Kiss, Andes Candy, or a little Christmas eraser. He loved it and looked forward to the Elf’s visit each morning.

Well, this year, the Elf sucks. Elf must be overworked by the Head Honcho or he is out partying all night. And I can tell you, since I know Elf pretty well, he is definitely not hitting the party scene. 17 days into this calendar, Elf has forgotten to put a treat in the pocket probably 8 times.

“Mommmmm! There’s nothing in the pocket!” Crap! Run to cabinet, grab Hershey’s Kiss… “Are you sure? Look around…” Mommy Elf walks over to calendar, Kiss cupped in hand, looks in pocket, slips Kiss in… “Hey, that Elf stuck it way down (the pocket is like 1 inch deep, there is no way down)” Monkey Man pulls out Kiss. Crisis averted.

“Mommmmm! There’s nothing in the pocket!” Crap! Repeat above scenario.

“Mommmmm! There’s nothing in the pocket!” Crap! Cabinet, Kiss, Tell Monkey Man to go into another room, this time Mommy Elf puts Kiss on bench. “Hey, Monkey Man! It looks like it fell! It’s right here on the bench!”

“Mommmm! There’s nothing in the pocket!” Mommy Elf almost says out loud, “Why the HELL do I give myself one more thing to stress out about?” Crap. Cabinet. Kiss. Another room. Magically appears in pocket. Big smile on Monkey Man. Yes, this is why I do it. For the simple joy of a 5 year-old at Christmastime. Even if he remembers back on this little tradition and thinks, “What the frig was that Elf ON?”