Happy Birthday! Love, the DMV

I had to renew my license by the end of this month, so why not wait until the end of the month? That's when DMV is the busiest, and I absolutely love to stand on long lines and listen to the DMV employess bark at people who just need to know WHICH line to stand on because there are like 34 lines.

While standing on line, I remembered 4 years ago when I last renewed my license and thinking, "The next time I do this, I'll be 37 years-old. Holy Crap." Well, welcome to Holy Crap. In 2 days, I'll be 37. HOW? How did this happen?

And then my next thought came. Almost 20 years ago to the day, I just took my driver's test and got my license for the first time. I even remember what I was wearing on the day that sweet freedom came in the shape of a glossy rectangle. A black windbreaker, jeans that were tightly cuffed around my ankle, and brand-spanking new birthday Nikes was my outfit of choice upon turning 17.

Which brings me to thinking about all of the things that have happened in 20 years. Those years seem to have passed in a flash, with these memories playing back like scenes from a movie. And now, my lucky readers, I give you a bunch of stuff that happened to me in the last 20 years. Feel free to either use this as material to help you drift into slumber or get yourself thinking about YOUR last 20 years...

Starting at age 17:
My niece was born
Received my driver's license
Went to Cancun with my friend and her family
Got my first car (can someone say 1986 Dodge Lancer? Holla!)
Graduated high school
Started college
Got dumped by my high school boyfriend
Joined a sorority
Got myself another boyfriend
My nephew was born
Experienced my one and only college spring break in the Bahamas
Graduated college
Visited Aruba
Bought my first BRAND NEW car (1996 Chevy Cavalier - Oh Yeah!)
Got my first real job
Visited London and Ireland
Broke up with boyfriend
Dated co-worker, who turned into Hubby :)
Got engaged in Disneyland
Got married
Went on several Disney cruises and visited Disney World every year
Bought our first house
Got our dog, Walt
Went back to school for my teaching degree
Became a teacher
Went on a cross-country road trip for my 30th birthday
Found out the best little boy in the world was coming into our lives!
Gave birth to Monkey Man
Survived the newborn stage (how, I'll never know!)
Worked from home with hubby
Sold our first house, bought our current house
Met Rick Springfield!
Returned to teaching part-time

Which brings us here, 20 years later. I might be 37 (in 2 days) on paper, but in my heart and mind, I'm still 17. And that's what counts.

We Specialize in Trashy Birthdays

Scene: Dr. Pediatrician’s office for Monkey Man’s 3 year-old check up. Monkey Man is sitting on paper covered exam table. Mommy is standing next to him and Daddy is sitting in the chair. Date – Friday, March 14.

Nurse: Happy Birthday! How old are you?

Monkey Man: (shows 3 fingers in that bizarre 3 year-old way – pointer, middle and ring finger up, pinky and thumb curled in to palm) I’m 3.

Mommy: Tell the nurse what tomorrow is.

Monkey Man: My birthday party.

Nurse: Oooo, what kind of birthday party?

Monkey Man: A Buzz Lightyear party.

Nurse: Oh, a Bud Light Beer party?

Mommy: (seeing all kinds of red flags going up in the Nurse’s mind, nervously laughing) NO, BUZZ LIGHTYEAR. TOY STORY. WOODY, BUZZ, JESSIE, MR. POTATO HEAD. (thinking, holy crap, this woman’s getting DYFS on the speed dial right now!)

Daddy: Hahahaha. Bud Light Beer party. Good one.

Fast forward to Saturday, March 15. Scene: Church hall where we’re having some little friends for Monkey Man’s birthday party. Mommy and Monkey Man’s Poppy are setting up the tables and playing some music that Mommy specially downloaded to her iPod for the occasion.

The Hokey Pokey comes on and it’s a fun Irish pub-like version, which is why I downloaded it. Although I only got to listen to a 10 second sample, I liked it enough so I bought it.

It goes on with the typical “You put your left hand in…” Then it goes on with the not-so-typical, “This one is for the ladies…You put your left breast in, you put your left breast out, you put your left breast in and (YES, YOU GOT IT) you shake it all about.”

Thank God I get my sense of humor from my dad because I lost it and started hysterically laughing. And because of his sense of humor he wasn’t all, yeah nice song for a 3 year-old’s party. In a church hall. I guess The Man himself was with me that day and had me preview it before the young impressionable ones arrived. Although the look on the parents’ faces would have been AWESOME.

You're 3!

Dear Monkey Man,

I cannot believe it’s been just 3 short years that you’ve been in our lives. It seems like you were never not here. Was there a time when I walked through my home and didn’t pick up some tiny toy that was sure to put a hole in my foot? Was there a time when I looked forward to the weekends so that I could sleep late? Was there a time that I wasn’t worried every millisecond of the day for your life now, tomorrow, and when you’re 75? No. I’m convinced that before you was a dream—and you really were with us all the while.

You have grown from a helpless infant to a big boy who helps mommy “clean” (read: unsweeps the neat little pile that I just swept), tells me stories about the roosters you saw with Poppy and tells us they say "crock a doodle doo", and plays basketball, baseball, football, and golf and then asks me, “Can I play tennis, too?” It makes my brain hurt when I really think about how you started and what you’ve become. And you are only 3. Let me apologize now, because I will be that mom who bawls hysterically at your high school graduation. And if you get married, forget it. I’m done. I’ll cling to you during our mother-son dance like a crazed mama bear keeping her baby cub away from all the dangers in the world.

Turning 3 has proven to be quite the milestone in your life. You just moved into your big boy bed the day before your birthday. Last night, as I checked on you before I went to sleep, it hit me – I will never see you in your crib again. Funny how I’m not too sentimental about the other milestone – potty training. I haven’t found myself thinking, “I’ll never change his poopy diaper again.”

Everyday, and I mean everyday, you amaze me with your words, your thoughts, your actions, and your sense of humor - your you being you. This blog that I started just a few months before your 3rd birthday is in honor of you – a keepsake of my memories of everything you’ve given me (and sometimes taken, sleep for instance). I hope you will read these stories when you’re older and learn about whom you were, are, and all the joy you brought me while becoming that beautiful person.

I love you to the moon and back. Bunches and bunches.
Sweet cheeks, Lovebug – Monkey Man.

Love, Mommy