While looking at the box of Benderoos (wait, quick aside: Benderoos suck. They are quite possibly the worst piece of crappy, waxy, sticky toy ever. You can't make one thing that they give you directions for unless you have your Ph.D. in Benderoos. But thanks Mom, aka Aga, for bestowing these upon Monkey Man and therefore forcing me and hubby to attempt the impossible with these things. Not that I'm ungrateful. This was just an honest review.)
So anyway, while looking at the box, Monkey Man noticed a duck-like animal on the front. I say duck-like because it's white with a yellow beak, but made from Benderoos, so it's like this twisty, demented duck that could be a swan. Or a white dog with a yellow nose.
He pointed to it and said, "It's a flagoon." My dad was sitting next to me during this revelation, which actually could be right considering these Benderoos configurations really are ridiculously impossible to achieve.
"Flagoon?" I responded, with a smirk on my face and my mind quickly coming up with what he was trying to say. "Do you mean a flamingo?"
"Yes, a FLAMINGO!" he cackled, then added a Homer Simpson, "Doh!" to the end. Thanks to hubby for teaching him that response.
It's not often that he mixes up words anymore, so it was even more amusing, heart-warming, and a little bittersweet. Those Benderoos aren't so bad now that I can look at that picture of the Flagoon.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Hey Readers! Mommy Needs Your Help!
Hi everyone on the computer,
This is Monkey Man. My mommy writes stories about me that are going to make me roll my eyes and yell, "MOMMMMMM!" when I'm older, but she just keeps doing it. I guess kind of like when I ask her questions over and over again and I know I'm annoying the poop out of her, but I do it anyway. Because it's funny to see her get so frustrated.
Anyway...Maybe you've been reading this blog since the beginning or maybe you are new to it. Maybe you've seen some weeks go by when mommy hasn't written a thing. She said she's sorry and mumbled something about "having a job that pays the bills when I really want to be writing and if I could just win the lottery I would even donate most of it..."
That's where I'm hoping you can help.
Mommy is working on a project and she needs to find out from you what your favorite posts are. If you have the time, energy, or slightest desire to help a girl out, please do. It won't cost you any money, just a few minutes away from Facebook or your child or the dinner you didn't want to cook anyway. And trust me, as a 4 year-old, don't even bother cooking. All we want is some chicken nuggets and ketchup. Don't bother with a roast pan.
Please pick your favorite 3 posts and if you are really feeling ambitious, let Mommy know why you like them. And because I love my Mommy so much, please keep reading her blog. Now I'm going to remember my manners - Thank you.
This is Monkey Man. My mommy writes stories about me that are going to make me roll my eyes and yell, "MOMMMMMM!" when I'm older, but she just keeps doing it. I guess kind of like when I ask her questions over and over again and I know I'm annoying the poop out of her, but I do it anyway. Because it's funny to see her get so frustrated.
Anyway...Maybe you've been reading this blog since the beginning or maybe you are new to it. Maybe you've seen some weeks go by when mommy hasn't written a thing. She said she's sorry and mumbled something about "having a job that pays the bills when I really want to be writing and if I could just win the lottery I would even donate most of it..."
That's where I'm hoping you can help.
Mommy is working on a project and she needs to find out from you what your favorite posts are. If you have the time, energy, or slightest desire to help a girl out, please do. It won't cost you any money, just a few minutes away from Facebook or your child or the dinner you didn't want to cook anyway. And trust me, as a 4 year-old, don't even bother cooking. All we want is some chicken nuggets and ketchup. Don't bother with a roast pan.
Please pick your favorite 3 posts and if you are really feeling ambitious, let Mommy know why you like them. And because I love my Mommy so much, please keep reading her blog. Now I'm going to remember my manners - Thank you.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Walt Disney World - I Need ANOTHER Vacation!
I certainly don't go to Walt Disney World in the summer for it's mild, spring-like weather. Or for a relaxing, peaceful getaway to recharge my batteries and come back refreshed and ready to take on life until the next vacation.
But I do go to Disney World to see this smile:
And this smile:
Oh, yes, and the innocent joy of seeing the REAL PINOCCHIO!
Wait, wait - and the REAL PLUTO!
MOMMY! Forget that Rick Springfield just walked by us! It's CHIP AND DALE!
Oh, and Mommy! Look! It's MICKEY!
DONALD & DAISY! MOMMY! DADDY! LOOK!
It's exhausting. It's hot. But, it's THE BEST.
But I do go to Disney World to see this smile:
And this smile:
Oh, yes, and the innocent joy of seeing the REAL PINOCCHIO!
Wait, wait - and the REAL PLUTO!
MOMMY! Forget that Rick Springfield just walked by us! It's CHIP AND DALE!
Oh, and Mommy! Look! It's MICKEY!
DONALD & DAISY! MOMMY! DADDY! LOOK!
It's exhausting. It's hot. But, it's THE BEST.
Meet the Lollipop Lady
On our recent trip to Disney World, my parents didn’t spoil Monkey Man one bit. They clearly understood that their money would be better put to use being squirreled away in a sock under the attic floor boards just in case this here economy decides it really doesn’t want to improve.
Please note sarcasm as thick as the New Jersey air that is lingering outside my window right now.
My parents CAN’T NOT buy Monkey Man something. Anything. Everything. And here for your reading pleasure, is a list of what my mom bought during our 2 week trip to Disney World and the Western Caribbean on the Disney Cruise:
1. Double light saber – because the 5 single ones he owns aren’t enough?
2. Pirates of the Caribbean sword
3. Hans Solo laser blaster
4. Pirates of the Caribbean gun (don’t get me started on the gun thing)
5. Swirly rainbow lollipop
6. Epcot light saber during the laser light show
7. T-Rex restaurant light-up cup
8. G-Force Hamster toy
9. Assortment of ice cream, cookies, whatever other sugary treat he so desired. I just hope she foots the bill for dental care.
Early on, during one of her wild-eyed, crazed Grandma spoiling sprees, I looked at my dear, giving mother and said, ”Do you like lollipops?”
She replied, oh so innocently and wondering what the hell I was talking about, “Why?”
“Because you sure are a sucker!” And hence, her nickname The Lollipop Lady was born.
I think I might try my hand at writing bad pick up lines.
Please note sarcasm as thick as the New Jersey air that is lingering outside my window right now.
My parents CAN’T NOT buy Monkey Man something. Anything. Everything. And here for your reading pleasure, is a list of what my mom bought during our 2 week trip to Disney World and the Western Caribbean on the Disney Cruise:
1. Double light saber – because the 5 single ones he owns aren’t enough?
2. Pirates of the Caribbean sword
3. Hans Solo laser blaster
4. Pirates of the Caribbean gun (don’t get me started on the gun thing)
5. Swirly rainbow lollipop
6. Epcot light saber during the laser light show
7. T-Rex restaurant light-up cup
8. G-Force Hamster toy
9. Assortment of ice cream, cookies, whatever other sugary treat he so desired. I just hope she foots the bill for dental care.
Early on, during one of her wild-eyed, crazed Grandma spoiling sprees, I looked at my dear, giving mother and said, ”Do you like lollipops?”
She replied, oh so innocently and wondering what the hell I was talking about, “Why?”
“Because you sure are a sucker!” And hence, her nickname The Lollipop Lady was born.
I think I might try my hand at writing bad pick up lines.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Q & A Session #264
Mommy: "I have a baby shower to go to tomorrow."
Monkey Man: "The baby is going to take a shower?"
Mommy: "No, it' a party because my friend is going to have a baby."
Monkey Man: "Where is the baby, is she on Earth?" (he now asks if everything is on Earth. "Am I on Earth? Is the house on Earth? Are the clouds on Earth?" This last question led to a one-sided discussion about the atmosphere in which I not only bored Monkey Man, but myself, too. I think I confused myself, too. I didn't realize I needed a degree in astronomy and meteorology to become a parent).
Mommy: "Yes, the baby is on Earth. She is in her mommy's belly."
Monkey Man: "How will she get out of her belly? How did I get out of your belly?"
Mommy: Silence. Do I tell him now how his birth was the most excruciating pain I've ever felt? Is this the time that he learns his head was the size and shape of a ripened watermelon right off the vine? "You just did. You came out." BRILLIANT!
Monkey Man: "You had a zipper on your belly and I just unzipped it."
Mommy: "Yes, that's how you got out."
Monkey Man: "The baby is going to take a shower?"
Mommy: "No, it' a party because my friend is going to have a baby."
Monkey Man: "Where is the baby, is she on Earth?" (he now asks if everything is on Earth. "Am I on Earth? Is the house on Earth? Are the clouds on Earth?" This last question led to a one-sided discussion about the atmosphere in which I not only bored Monkey Man, but myself, too. I think I confused myself, too. I didn't realize I needed a degree in astronomy and meteorology to become a parent).
Mommy: "Yes, the baby is on Earth. She is in her mommy's belly."
Monkey Man: "How will she get out of her belly? How did I get out of your belly?"
Mommy: Silence. Do I tell him now how his birth was the most excruciating pain I've ever felt? Is this the time that he learns his head was the size and shape of a ripened watermelon right off the vine? "You just did. You came out." BRILLIANT!
Monkey Man: "You had a zipper on your belly and I just unzipped it."
Mommy: "Yes, that's how you got out."
Friday, July 24, 2009
I Spy
While riding an extremely crowded Disney bus yesterday, Monkey Man and I played I Spy. Monkey Man went first and his very clever, very secretive clue was:
"I Spy with my little eye, something with hair."
Then, without giving me a chance to think long and hard about this all too puzzling enigma he exclaimed, "Everyone's head! Except THAT guy!" Yes, he pointed out the one bald guy on the bus.
"I Spy with my little eye, something with hair."
Then, without giving me a chance to think long and hard about this all too puzzling enigma he exclaimed, "Everyone's head! Except THAT guy!" Yes, he pointed out the one bald guy on the bus.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Twas the Night Before Disney
Twas the Night Before Disney, when in this here house,
The preschooler was not sleeping, too excited for Mickey Mouse.
The luggage was lined up by the front door with care,
Mommy hoped that sweet slumber would waft through the air.
Monkey Man tried to sleep in his bed,
But visions of 5 a.m. danced through his head.
For the 90th time he asked, "Mommy, will you wake me to go?"
And for the 90th time, exhausted, I replied, "It is so."
When up the stairs there arose such a clatter,
I dashed to the foot of them to see what was the matter.
There Monkey Man sat on a monogrammed stool,
And declared, "I will sleep here" I replied, "No! You fool!"
"Get into that bed, I know you're excited, but please,
If you don't get some rest you'll disappoint The Big Cheese.
He's watching you (yeah, I pulled the Santa threat, so sly),
And if you don't sleep this instant kiss Mickey goodbye.
The questions fired at me, excitement built up
"Is there a couch in the hotel? Water, and a cup?
Why does Pluto walk on two legs, instead of four?
Is Ariel a Princess?" (Um, no, she's a whore)
"Is Pirates of the 'Bean scary? Or no?"
Do you like the Buzz Lightyear ride or the Indy Show?
Am I tall enough for Splash Mountain? Can I bring Snuggly, too?
Can I ride on Peter Pan with Daddy and you?"
My patience was wearing thin like sunscreen upon,
a Disney World tourist in July's summer sun
So I threw on my best Mommy Smile and cooed,
"I know you're excited!" (But, c'mon. DUDE.)
Thoughts of children's Benedryl danced through my head,
For this night ahead of me filled me with dread.
Then I looked over to see a drowsy Monkey Man sleepy,
Into sweet Disney Eve slumber, it made me quite weepy.
For I know these precious times I hold dear,
And we've been blessed to spend time like this each and every year.
The innocent excitement of a 4 year-old's brain,
So pure, so real, you just cannot feign.
I went to bed cursing the alarm (set for 3),
But, admittedly, sharing Monkey's Man's glee.
And you'll hear me exclaim as I fly out of sight,
"Pass the Xanax, I'm scared to death of air flight!"
The preschooler was not sleeping, too excited for Mickey Mouse.
The luggage was lined up by the front door with care,
Mommy hoped that sweet slumber would waft through the air.
Monkey Man tried to sleep in his bed,
But visions of 5 a.m. danced through his head.
For the 90th time he asked, "Mommy, will you wake me to go?"
And for the 90th time, exhausted, I replied, "It is so."
When up the stairs there arose such a clatter,
I dashed to the foot of them to see what was the matter.
There Monkey Man sat on a monogrammed stool,
And declared, "I will sleep here" I replied, "No! You fool!"
"Get into that bed, I know you're excited, but please,
If you don't get some rest you'll disappoint The Big Cheese.
He's watching you (yeah, I pulled the Santa threat, so sly),
And if you don't sleep this instant kiss Mickey goodbye.
The questions fired at me, excitement built up
"Is there a couch in the hotel? Water, and a cup?
Why does Pluto walk on two legs, instead of four?
Is Ariel a Princess?" (Um, no, she's a whore)
"Is Pirates of the 'Bean scary? Or no?"
Do you like the Buzz Lightyear ride or the Indy Show?
Am I tall enough for Splash Mountain? Can I bring Snuggly, too?
Can I ride on Peter Pan with Daddy and you?"
My patience was wearing thin like sunscreen upon,
a Disney World tourist in July's summer sun
So I threw on my best Mommy Smile and cooed,
"I know you're excited!" (But, c'mon. DUDE.)
Thoughts of children's Benedryl danced through my head,
For this night ahead of me filled me with dread.
Then I looked over to see a drowsy Monkey Man sleepy,
Into sweet Disney Eve slumber, it made me quite weepy.
For I know these precious times I hold dear,
And we've been blessed to spend time like this each and every year.
The innocent excitement of a 4 year-old's brain,
So pure, so real, you just cannot feign.
I went to bed cursing the alarm (set for 3),
But, admittedly, sharing Monkey's Man's glee.
And you'll hear me exclaim as I fly out of sight,
"Pass the Xanax, I'm scared to death of air flight!"
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