Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Honesty - Always the Best Policy?

While I was getting Monkey Man ready for bed tonight, hubby decided to indulge his chocolate craving that is likened to that of a pre-menstrual woman’s. Salivating and shaking, he opened the pantry to find some brownie mix that, lucky for him, I just happened to score in a nice grab bag gift this past weekend. Because he couldn’t wait to eat the actual cooked brownie (but really, who can?) he licked the bowl before going upstairs to say goodnight to Monkey Man.

And this is what our incredibly sweet, incredibly honest child said to hubby:

“Please lay with me, but I’m gonna roll over because your breath smells like chocolate, and I don’t like it. Sometimes I don’t like your stinky breath…but I really like you, Daddy.”

Monday, December 14, 2009

Wish I Wrote This!

Just in case you have children and didn't already know about their psychosis...
New Study Reveals Most Children Unrepentant Sociopaths

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Letter to Santa 2009

Last year, Monkey Man was almost 4 as we headed into Christmas. Last year, Monkey Man had concrete ideas of what he wanted for Christmas - he listed about 4 very specific toys. This year, I assumed that as Monkey Man got older, he would continue to know exactly what his heart yearned for during this season of receiving, err, I mean, giving. When will I learn?

As Monkey Man likes to do to me everyday, he surprised me with his wishes. I thought it would get easier as he gets older. When he was a baby, 1, 2 years-old, we just bought him what we thought he'd like (read: what WE wanted him to have!). Now, as he turns 4 and three-quarters (yes, we are at that stage, fractional ages with days counted until he turns 5) he has made it significantly more difficult. Or maybe it's easier. He wants EVERYTHING.

He sits with the Toys R Us and Target Wish Books before him drooling like Mommy does with a J. Crew catalog. "I want that. And that. Put a check next to that. Let's tell Santa I want that, oooo, and that, too." And that's just what I say while perusing J. Crew. Monkey Man doesn't care if the toy is for infants, toddlers, or 30 year-olds. He wants it.

I explained to Monkey Man that once we wrote our letter to Santa, we would have to stick to the list. Because Santa only goes by the list. Santa is not making mental notes and making 4 more trips to the toy store because that friggin' commercial on Nick just sucked him into yet another ridiculous toy that is not for someone his age. Monkey Man said okay (i.e. yes'd Mommy to death just to shut me up and move the letter writing process along) and here we have our Letter to Santa 2009. This letter is Monkey Man's exact words as dutifully scribed by Yours Truly.

Dear Santa,
I have a knock knock joke for you.
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Banana that almost bumped into the orange!

Can I please have a Ninja Turtle Wii game? And I want Astro Boy Wii, please, Santa. And I want the Woody game from Target, please, Santa.
I would also like:
- A big Star Wars Lego ship that comes with guys, a blue light saber, and it's huge!
- Spongebob Operation game
- A paint easel
- Crayola lightbrush
- Lego City
- Checkers game
- Leapster Star Wars Reading

Thank You Santa for bringing all these toys to me.
Merry Christmas,
Love, Monkey Man

This letter was written on November 25, 2009. Monkey Man has since added 63 more toys to this list.