Sunday, March 1, 2015

Snow Daze

With the impending blizzards, ice storms, and other Disney-created winter shenanigans (yes, I’m blaming Disney. They have their hands in everything!  Friggin’ Elsa.), the Northeast continues to clamor to the grocery stores every five days to get their pick of French toast ingredients. Facebook becomes aflutter with photos of empty bread shelves and dairy cases.  Those that are SOL on just one more gallon of milk can be found sulking over dry Cheerios on Snow Day morning.

I, however, put a little forethought into these world-ending meteorological events and have assembled my own “Oh my God, we are going to be stuck in the house for ONE WHOLE DAY” survival package. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the Snow Day Survival Kit:

  • Wine, ¾ of a bottle. Unlike what seems to be almost every other sloshed mom in the world, I only have alcohol in the house if we just had guests over or went to a BYOB restaurant. Well, lucky for me, hubby and I went out to dinner over the weekend and I have some liquid leftovers. I think there is a random Blue Moon in the garage somewhere by the wrenches, too. Such a feeling of freedom, of “it’s not a Saturday night, but it totally FEELS like a Saturday night, and I’m going to have a crazy glass of wine or beer from the bowels of the tool kit!” Because no one drinks wine any other night of the week.
    However, I can’t help to wonder - Why does having a Snow Day make one feel like one should drink? Why isn’t this any different from a typical day off? Maybe others were drinking all snow day long, but would these same people drink all day Saturday or Sunday? I do not take a single sip on my actual snow day off, as I have things to accomplish, like napping and standing outside in 25 degree weather while watching my child sled up and down a hill 2 times then just play in the snow with his friend. He could have played in the snow with his friend in my backyard. While I was INSIDE under a blanket. Not freezing.
  • Science experiments. My son received this kit for his birthday almost a year ago. I excitedly pulled it out of the playroom to add to my kit with high hopes of bonding over conducting experiments with recyclables. Now, I teach math and science. Everyday. To children that are the same age as my son. I could easily do without one more science experiment, but what else would he do? Play on his Xbox all day talking to his friends through his headset? This was my very blatant attempt at stealing my child away from the evil Box of X. See above photo for science experiment results. Make note of how well this went over. 
  • Cookies…Homemade, no less! By some Act of God, God being Martha Stewart,  I had every single ingredient in the house needed to make homemade chocolate chip cookies. This in itself is more earth-shattering news than the forthcoming blizzards considering when I attempt to make dinner, I am always without one key ingredient. I could not let these ingredients sit separately in the pantry when they could all have a snow day party together in my mixing bowl! Again, mom will win with homemade cookies and of course, I’ll get Monkey Man in on the act:
    “Hey, Monkey Man, want to help me make chocolate chip cookies?” I called out excitedly over Xbox chatter. 

    “Umm, now? Can I just finish this game? It’ll take like 2 minutes,” Monkey Man honestly responded, but I know better. I know that an Xbox game two minutes is equivalent to a football game two minutes.
After about 12 minutes, he appeared in the kitchen and helped me. For about three minutes. He then became quickly bored with this domestic act and asked to be relinquished to his online friends. Fine. More cookie dough batter for me - AND you’ll never know when they’re done and where I hid my mommy stash!

  • A book. I will indulgently snuggle under a blanket and read a big-kid chapter book that does not include lesson plans, education theories or other work-related material. While my sweet gamer loses brain cells to that box, I will sit on the couch, in my pajamas (which, by the way, although not pictured as an exhibit, is an absolute essential for a snow day. Or any day in which one is housebound) and read!  I will read funny words that do not include the words quotient, partial products or electrical current!
There you have it, all ye who shudder at the thought of being left French Toast-less for your next big snow day. Get yourself together a Snow Day Survival Kit and welcome the next 3-6 inches. Which, by the way, is currently falling outside my window. Again. On March 1.  F’in Elsa.

Gotta go find my Survival Kit!

What’s in your Survival Kit?