Saturday, May 23, 2009

Monkey Man's First Favorite Song

I'm both proud and embarrassed to report that "Let's Get Rocked" by Def Leppard is Monkey Man's first favorite song. He demands it as soon as we get in the car and can be heard singing it at various times throughout the day. Hubby and I love it - we never have to listen to children's music that makes you want to poke out your eardrums slowly and deliberately with forks.

Note: I have placed Monkey Man's version of the line in parenthesis next to the real line. He is 4, after all, and to make matters worse, has the lyric deciphering skills of his father. I have also added my own notes to give you a better feel for dramatic effect.

"Let's Get Rocked" by Def Leppard

Do ya wanna get rocked?

Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get
Rocked...... (Sang at top of lungs, for all of the neighborhood to know just what kind of music we let our child listen to)

I'm your average, ordinary, everyday kid,
Happy to do nothin'
In fact that's what I did.
Got a million ways to make my day, but daddy don't agree
'Cos when I try to get away he says
He get plans for me

Get your butt right out of bed - Stop buggin' me
Get up and move your sleepy head - Don't shake my tree.

He said
Mow the lawn - Who, me?
Walk the dog - Not my style, man!
Take out the trash - No way!
Tidy your room - C'mon get real!
Sorry dad, gotta disappear,
Let's get the rock outta here. (This stanza is a great teaching tool for when Monkey Man is 13. We are grooming him right)

Seven-day weekend, (Send in the weekend)
Up all night,
In at the deep end, (Today Monkey Man asked, "What's the deep end? Why does he say that?" This lead to a discussion on metaphors and literary tools that are beyond a preschoolers thought process. And then, shockingly, the conversation lost his interest)
Hang on tight
Won't take a minute,
Won't take long,
So get on in it,
Come on, come on, come on

Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get rocked (Last rocked is SCREAMED!)
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get rocked (SCREAMED AGAIN!)
Let's go all the way, get it night'n'day (Monkey Man says, "night annay." When I try to tell him it's "night 'n' day" he adamantly tells me, "NO! It's night annay." Okay, whatever.)
C'mon let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get rocked.

I'm your average, ordinary, everyday dude
Drivin' with my baby, To get her in the mood
She's dialin' through my radio and I'm ready to make my move, (Monkey Man has been asking us this line, and thanks to my intensive research, I can now enlighten him with complete lyrics)
But what she got ain't rock'n'roll and it really blew my groove (see same note above)

It was - Chopin, Mozart, Beethoven
It makes me wanna scream - Bach, Tchaikovsky, violins (This is our way of introducing Monkey Man to OTHER musical geniuses, other than Def Leppard)
Turn it off! - That ain't my scene
Well I'm sorry girl, here's my confession
I suppose a rock's out of the question? (Monkey Man only sings the last line, which is very funny to hear him sing with such gusto).

[Repeat Bridge]
[Repeat Chorus]

Oh, all I wanna do is take a ride into the blue
Ev'ry time I want to love you I get stuck inside my room (He does not sing this line, thank the Rock Gods. However, he does sing the line below...)
Heaven knows I'm sick'n'tired of dancin' with this broom (At least he just thinks the man is literally dancing with a broom!)
I feel lucky today
Hey, look at that man!
Do ya wanna get rocked?
Do ya wanna get rocked?

It won't take you a minute,
It won't take that long,
So get on, get with it,
Oh, c'mon

Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get rocked

Do ya wanna get rocked?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Sweet Smell of Mother's Day

I woke up this morning, my nose attuned to the sweet smell of syrup in my bedroom. Monkey Man and hubby served me breakfast in bed with pancakes, syrup, and tea on Mother's Day, but I was a little bewildered that the room still smelled like syrup. It's a warm, homey, yummy smell, but two days later, still, the syrup?

After I got out of bed, I reached up to the alarm clock that sits on top of hubby's tall dresser. As I switched the radio alarm off, I realized just why the room has smelled like syrup since 9:30 a.m. Sunday morning. There upon the dresser taller than I sat a plastic Superman plate of syrup from when Monkey Man joined me on the bed Sunday morning to eat his pancakes. I guess Hubby stuck it up there after Monkey Man finished and forgot about it. And since the Cleaning Fairy took the day off, she never bothered to look on top of the dresser, taller than I, to check for leftover food from the day.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Light Sabers and Screen Doors: The Birds and Bees Talk Prequel

There is a hole in our screen on the French doors that lead to the back patio. The hole has been there since we moved in almost 2 years ago. Replacing this screen was on our to-do list the summer we moved here, last summer, and again for this year.

Just moments ago, I was reminded of this hole and why it needs to be replaced. I walked into the family room and saw Monkey Man sticking his light saber through the hole. I looked at him shocked, as if seeing a 4 year-old stick a light saber through a hole in a screen was ridiculous. But really, why WOULDN'T a 4 year-old boy stick a light saber through a hole in the screen? Seems a perfectly good place to stick a light saber.

"Monkey Man, please don't put the light saber through the hole in the screen."

"Why not?"

"Because that's not what you do with a light saber. I know testosterone tells you otherwise, but listen to your mother. And remember this conversation when you are 16. I beg of you, PLEASE."

Toilet Riddle #45

Hubby had bath duty last night while I was at the gym beating the hell out of a heavy bag. So this story has been passed down to me, but I think I can still do it justice.

Scene: Monkey Man was in the bathtub filled with fresh, clean water with Baby Aveeno Sensitive Skin Body Wash bubbles. Hubby realized he needed a cup with which to rinse Monkey Man. Hubby left for a brief moment. Upon his return, Monkey Man asked:

"Daddy, what happens when someone pees in the tub?"

Multiple Choice (all quotes are being said by hubby):
a. "We are an environmentally friendly family and NEVER waste a tub of water. Urine is sterile, boy, you continue your bath and afterwards we shall hug the trees."
b. "Ooh, let's see if it turns the bubbles yellow! Mommy will love that trick! If I add blue food coloring to the water, maybe the bubbles will turn GREEN!"
c. "What happens is I'm getting you out of that tub pronto, kid. Mommy will be getting back from kickboxing class in about 10 minutes. If you stay in there, she might want to continue her punch-kick combinations on me."