My Little Squirt

Monkey Man had diarrhea for the first time in his life since he could actually remember.  I think he had it when he was a baby, but honestly, other than his life-threatening nut and shellfish allergies, this kid stays pretty healthy.  Must be his mother’s OCD and the fact that we essentially live in a Lysol can that is disguised as a house.

He had a really bad stomachache the other night that came on suddenly.  He cried and I stayed with him in the bathroom.  I just had this stomach thing the night before and it was still fresh in my mind how badly my stomach hurt, so I was feeling extra empathetic for the poor kid.  After the first round of butt-yuck, he felt better and was a little amazed at what had just spewed out of him.

The second round he had his dad in there with him.  The following was retold by my husband, since I did not have the awesome privilege of being in the bathroom to witness…

The 3 Stages of Diarrhea as told by a 7 year-old:

1. “Daddy! It’s like my butt is peeing out poop!”
2. “Oooh, my butt is on fire!”
3.  “Ouch.  It hurts to wipe.”

 Leave it to a 7 year-old boy to not only give a play-by-play of bodily functions, but to cut right to the chase and tell it exactly like it is.