The Bagina Dialogues

My 2 ½ year-old son: "Mommy, does Superman have a penis?”

Patient Me: “Yes, Superman is a boy, so he does have a penis.”

My 2 ½ year-old son: “Does Walter have a penis?”

Growing impatient me: “Yes, Walter is a boy dog, so he does have a penis.”

My 2 ½ year-old son: “Do youuu have a penis?” (extra emphasis on you because he knows what the answer is and is trying to elicit some kind of chuckle from me, but this dialogue has happened so many times I can finally deliver my lines with a straight face).

Getting Ready to Lose It Me: “Nooo, mommy is a girl so mommy has a vagina.”

My 2 ½ year-old son: “Wonder Woman has a bagina.”

She’s Lost It Me: “Yes, she does. And if I have to have another discussion like this again, Daddy is getting a basectomy.”