We Specialize in Trashy Birthdays

Scene: Dr. Pediatrician’s office for Monkey Man’s 3 year-old check up. Monkey Man is sitting on paper covered exam table. Mommy is standing next to him and Daddy is sitting in the chair. Date – Friday, March 14.

Nurse: Happy Birthday! How old are you?

Monkey Man: (shows 3 fingers in that bizarre 3 year-old way – pointer, middle and ring finger up, pinky and thumb curled in to palm) I’m 3.

Mommy: Tell the nurse what tomorrow is.

Monkey Man: My birthday party.

Nurse: Oooo, what kind of birthday party?

Monkey Man: A Buzz Lightyear party.

Nurse: Oh, a Bud Light Beer party?

Mommy: (seeing all kinds of red flags going up in the Nurse’s mind, nervously laughing) NO, BUZZ LIGHTYEAR. TOY STORY. WOODY, BUZZ, JESSIE, MR. POTATO HEAD. (thinking, holy crap, this woman’s getting DYFS on the speed dial right now!)

Daddy: Hahahaha. Bud Light Beer party. Good one.

Fast forward to Saturday, March 15. Scene: Church hall where we’re having some little friends for Monkey Man’s birthday party. Mommy and Monkey Man’s Poppy are setting up the tables and playing some music that Mommy specially downloaded to her iPod for the occasion.

The Hokey Pokey comes on and it’s a fun Irish pub-like version, which is why I downloaded it. Although I only got to listen to a 10 second sample, I liked it enough so I bought it.

It goes on with the typical “You put your left hand in…” Then it goes on with the not-so-typical, “This one is for the ladies…You put your left breast in, you put your left breast out, you put your left breast in and (YES, YOU GOT IT) you shake it all about.”

Thank God I get my sense of humor from my dad because I lost it and started hysterically laughing. And because of his sense of humor he wasn’t all, yeah nice song for a 3 year-old’s party. In a church hall. I guess The Man himself was with me that day and had me preview it before the young impressionable ones arrived. Although the look on the parents’ faces would have been AWESOME.