How did I become this person who lugs all of this stuff around? I'm not a stuff person. I'm a just the basics person. Before Monkey Man, I had cute purses, purses that matched outfits (and shoes! How I love shoes! Back in the day, I would buy the shoes first, and then find the outfit. But now I have a mortgage). Back to the topic.
Before mommyhood, I owned purses that couldn’t fit more than keys, a small wallet, and a lipstick. Now I TOTE things. I am a toter. And since I tote things, I find myself ditching matching bags to my outfits and carrying a plaid tote bag everywhere (I “splurged” – it’s J. Crew – I figured if I’m going big, I’m at least going cute). Even when, like today, horrifyingly enough I was wearing plaid Bermuda shorts! In a different print! The horror! Who am I kidding, I don’t care. My brain has other things to think about like how the hell am I gonna pay for gas this week (the “cheap” station just went up to $3.27!) So, here’s a look into the contents of my life carry-on:
- A deposit slip and checks for the bank that have been there for 3 days because I keep forgetting to go to the bank
- A wallet with $4 in it – I really need to get to the bank
- Measurements to windows I will probably never cover because I am window-treatment challenged
- Coupons to Bed, Bath & Beyond that I’ll never use because do I really need THAT MUCH STUFF to keep up with the 3 they send me per week? If I could only find curtains at this store I could get rid of 2 items from my bag in one shot! In my clearing out the clutter and checking things off the list world, that feat would be nearly orgasmic.
- The torso of a Superman action figure
- A sticky straw from a juice box
- A Pull Up diaper - clean, thank God
- A goldfish cracker
- A container of baby wipes without the wipes
- A package of Wet Ones with one dry Wet One – very useful
- 2 small bottles of Purell (found to be very effective given that I got the flu and have had about 4 colds since October)
- Cinnamon Trident
- A Go Diego Go DVD because you just never know when you're going to need it
- Clear and TINTED lip balm (oooo, sometimes mommy is adventurous!)
- A cell phone that is rarely charged and even when it is, it’s never answered (it does, however, give me laughs when I finally check voicemail and I have 7 from the month before. If you know me, you know not to leave a voicemail otherwise you will wind up calling Missing Persons on my behalf because that voicemail will not get returned).