Monkey Man has a major crush. On my 19 year-old niece’s best friend. Best Friend came on vacation with us last summer and this boy hasn’t stopped talking about her since. He sent her a valentine. He requested a visit from her during her spring break and she obliged. Much to his delight, she magically appeared (in a bikini, long blonde hair flowing, and I’m pretty sure there was a blinding light glowing behind her and angels were singing) at my niece’s house yesterday while we were swimming. And she brought him presents. Presents that included cookies. The child almost lost his mind.
And on the car ride home, this was our conversation:
Monkey Man: Mommy, do you think Best Friend is pretty?
Me: Yes, I do.
Monkey Man: I think she’s really pretty. She’s HOT!
Me: (looking at him in the rearview mirror, jaw agape, horrified at his choice of words)
Where did you learn that phrase?
Monkey Man: From iCarly
EVIL T.V.! Keeping my son entertained and now apparently aware of inappropriate slang while I try to collect my sanity and attempt to cook a nutritious meal! T.V. be damned! I will get rid of the boob tube and we will play for hours while the housework and bills pile up around us!
Pffft. Yeah right. I’ll keep my sanity and set aside 5 minutes a day to explain that what they say on iCarly is not appropriate language for a kindergartener. Because, I'm sorry, Spencer is just too damn funny to be blocked from this house.