I was on my way out the door the other day to Toys R Us for a few birthday gifts. When Monkey Man heard me tell hubby of my destination, a 6 year-old’s paradise, he asked me, while batting his long, blonde eyelashes, “Will you buy me something?” Now, I am usually programmed to say, “NO” to these questions. I will not have a child that expects a toy or something every time I go shopping. I will not have a spoiled child. ESPECIALLY because I ONLY have one child. And we all know how every single only child in this world is spoiled rotten. Oh, and they don’t know how to play with other kids. And they can’t share. And my fingertips are not oozing any kind of sarcasm whatsoever.
I usually say no, but on this day, I was feeling good. Hubby got good news at work, so I felt like I could pick up a little something (and by a little something, I’m talking $2 or less, people). I answered his angelic plea for a toy with, “Maybe, we’ll see.” Because I took the “Advanced Mom Course for Children in the Age Bracket that Can Ask For Things.” And I learned that all important, noncommittal response.
Monkey Man looked at me, with shock and delight. I know he was thinking, “Did my mother just NOT say NO?” Then he said, “I know you’ll get me something. I get whatever I want.”
To which my reply was, “No, you do not.” Now, I will defend Monkey Man and add that he was joking a little. This was not said in a bratty way. He was trying to be funny. HOWEVER, due to the fact that those words even came out of that child’s un-spoiled, you-will-work-hard-and-appreciate-what-you-have, mouth, I had a lesson to teach.
I went to Toys R Us, bought the birthday presents, and some school supplies that were on sale (which, I must add, was the most depressing thing ever. Buying school supplies just one week after school ends is wrong. But they had a sale and I’m just starting to learn that if the store has it now, I must buy it now. Not wait until the week before school starts when they have nothing left). When I arrived home, Monkey Man greeted me with a, “What’d ya get me?” oh. Oh. OH. I will show you what I got you:
“Here you go. I got you a new pair of scissors,” I answered. His reply? A scowl. Geez, maybe he wasn’t joking.
“And a new box of crayons and markers,” I added with much enthusiasm, and maybe just a little sarcasm. Little bit.
“Oooo, and a supply box! Yes, and a new sharpener!” I was actually enjoying how totally annoyed my child was at me.
“Why did you get me this stuff?” Monkey Man asked, totally pissed at me, but I think mostly because I looked so damn happy about my retaliation.
Because you NEED it for First Grade. And I WANTED a good laugh for the day.