We're in Negotiations

This conversation took place at 9:20 a.m. today. For me, it's never too early for sugar, but I try to be a hypocrite with Monkey Man.

Monkey Man: I would like 5 marshmallows.
Me: You're not eating marshmallows now. You can have some after lunch.
Monkey Man: I would like 3 marshmallows.
Me: You can have some marshmallows after lunch.
Monkey Man: I WOULD LIKE ONE MARSHMALLOW!

This child has the negotiating skills of someone in the FBI, or his father. And since 1 is better than 5, and I would like some peace in this here most peaceful of seasons, I calmly walked to the pantry, took out a marshmallow and gave in, yet again, to my 42 inch boss.

Cha cha cha…CHIA!

For the first time in my life, I am the owner of a Chia Pet. How did I acquire such an extravagant accessory for my home? I was the lucky one to pick it, disguised in a beautiful holiday bag, at my Moms Club White Elephant gift exchange last week. My luck was insane that night – I should have played the lottery.

You will be shocked to learn that NOT ONE person tried to steal my Chia Pet. My original pick was the Sex and the City DVD and that got stolen. Other stolen gifts included Dunkin Donuts gift cards, a fleece Mickey Mouse blanket. But my Chia? Nope. It remained all mine. I hope 2009 is as lucky for me as the end of 2008 is rounding out to be.

I can’t just keep Chia on my kitchen counter, though. So, I’ve decided to take Chia out and about. See the sights. Get some culture. And so begins my new series, “Where in the World is Chia?”

Visit often to discover Chia’s wild adventures!

Please note: The above photo is not the actual box. I do have a Chia Hippo, but I did not get a Chia Alarm Clock Bonus Gift. I got Chia Playing cards.

I’m Dreaming of a Chocolate Christmas

The Advent Calendar is a huge hit in our house. Not only does it reinforce number recognition for Monkey Man (contrary to what this blog might sometimes otherwise reflect, I try really hard to be a good mom and teach him things – Noggin doesn’t know everything), but it also provides chocolate. Everyday. I’m such a good mom that I let Monkey Man have the chocolate, I don’t even beg him for it. Mom of the Year Award goes to me. Thank you!

So every morning, I round up the children (Monkey Man, husband, and Walt – the dog) and we retell the Christmas story. The one where the Wise Men bring chocolate to Baby Jesus. You know that one, right? Actually, it’s the story of how every day that we open one of the little paper doors we get just a little closer to PRESENTS! SANTA! SANTA bringing me PRESENTS! Sorry, that was Monkey Man. He just jumped on my lap and started typing.

Hubby and I do actually talk to Monkey Man about Christmas and it's meaning. Of course, he’s 3, so the gift thing is outweighing the birth of our Savior thing right now. And the chocolate? Well, that’s running a close second to the presents. So much so, that the other morning Monkey Man asked me:
"When are we going to open the chocolate calendar?”

Spanish 101

Monkey Man: Wowee-kazowee!

Hubby: Wowee-kazowee! What does that mean?

Monkey Man: It means Hello in Spanish.

What a waste. All those hours of Noggin and obviously Dora and Diego aren’t quite doing their jobs.

You'll Never Guess What Hit My Car

Upon leaving a perfectly peaceful trip to the library today, I was met by some sort of UFO hurling towards my car. After buckling up Monkey Man, I began to get out of the backseat to make my way to the front when I looked out the back window and saw a small, silver disk barreling its way to my window. CRACK! “What the *&$# was that?” I said in my head, or maybe not in my head, but since Monkey Man was in the car, we’ll pretend it was all said internally.

I got out of the car and a man approached me. I was in the parking lot of a suburban library at 4 p.m., so I wasn’t really expecting any trouble. “Sorry, ma’am, that was me. I was throwing my stale Peppermint Pattie into the woods and it hit your car.” So it did, genius.

I have two simple questions:

1. Why are you throwing a wrapped Peppermint Pattie into the woods – the candy might be biodegradable but the shiny outside wrapping most certainly is not.

And the 2^nd and more important question:
2. Stale or not - WHY ARE YOU THROWING OUT CHOCOLATE???

Letter to Santa

Like good personal assistants, my husband and I took dictation while our CEO, Monkey Man, told us what to write in his letter to Santa. Our town has a mailbox in which to mail letters to jolly ol' St. Nick, and then he writes back and the children go WILD!

December 7, 2008

Dear Santa,

I would like Star Wars toys. Please bring me a big Millenium Falcon.

I’m trying to be a big boy and a good boy.

Thank you for bringing me a present on Jesus’ birthday.

I would also like an Indiana Jones rope at Poppy and Aga’s house. If you visit me at Grandma and Papa’s, can you bring me a General Grievous spaceship?

Could you bring another boy or girl who doesn’t have a mommy or daddy who can get a present a Star Wars toy?

Thank you!
Love, Monkey Man

The Reason for the Season

'Tis the season for caroling, gift giving, watching Christmas Vacation twice per week, and the reason choirs of angels sing - Entenmann's Holiday Pop 'ems.

I could very well eat a box, in one sitting, of these little chocolate angels coated in festive holiday colored sprinkles. Honestly, I could eat anything covered in sprinkles.

I am certain that Pop 'ems were served upon the announcement of Jesus' birth. "Attention, we have the arrival of the newborn King. Pop 'ems will be served to honor this most momentous occasion." As Mary and Joseph sat with the tiny Savior, the 4th Wise Man who is never talked about, presented the infant with chocolate Pop 'ems. Sure, we hear about the gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Maybe Pop 'ems were left out because of some kind of corporate policy, like Entenmann's didn't pay enough to get on the roster of Wise Men gifts.

Holiday Pop 'ems are sold for a few other holidays, too. Halloween brings us orange and black sprinkles, St. Patrick's Day brings us green and white sprinkles, and the 4th of July gives us the ever patriotic red, white and blue Pop 'em. It's a good thing they are only around about 4 times a year because I have absolutely no restraint when it comes to a festive, sprinkle-covered Holiday Pop 'em.

And when that time of the year comes, it sneaks up on me, surprises me. My last box was during Halloween. Upon traveling past the snack aisle at Target yesterday, the light blue box with the snowdrift, indicating the holidays, caught my eye. My heart raced. A quick mental calendar calculation confirmed that yes, it was once again time for Pop 'ems! "It's the most wonderful time of the year..."