Tuesday, January 17, 2012


The following was overheard on an unusually warm, 60-degree day in New Jersey in January at my local Subway sandwich shop:

“Hey dad,” the young boy said, looking about 6 or 7 years-old. He motioned to his father to look at the teeny-bopper blonde girl with too short-shorts for this boring mom’s taste. “That girl’s booty is shakin’ like bacon!”

Go ahead, gasp in horror. I did. Who raises their child to speak this way about girls? Apparently, I raised my child to speak this way. Yes, that boy was Monkey Man, the dad was Hubby, and I just stood there, shocked. Okay, not really shocked. This isn’t the first time Monkey Man has shown us very clear signs of his fondness of females and the trouble we will be in when there are pubescent hormones raging through his body.

If there isn’t a male chastity belt, you can sure as hell bet I will be inventing one.


Trish said...

Oh man, it's going to be a sad day for him when he gets too old to get away with that stuff!

I have a 3 year old nephew who indiscriminately grabs boobs and butts wherever he goes. But he usually tells the girl she's pretty first, so at least he's KIND of a gentleman about it.

youarekiddingme said...

Fortunately, he says stuff like this quietly. He totally knows it's not appropriate. He also knows how hilarious it is. The kid has great timing, and I am probably the only mother that actually wants her child to become a comedian.