My mom and dad got sucked into American Idol last year when Scotty McCreery was on and won. My dad would call me every week to tell me about him, getting more and more excited as Scotty made his way through the cuts. My dad is a huge country music fan, like country crooner music fan. You’re not going to see him tapping his foot to Sugarland. You’re going to hear him, in the next town, yodeling to Hank Williams.
Apparently Idol started up again last night. I wouldn’t know, I’ve long since stopped watching it. My mother and father are keeping me in touch with this world. I think I stopped wasting my time when that guy with the gray hair won. You know the one. The American Idol that was so memorable that no one knows his name.
But Poppy and Aga discovered a love for all things pop music last year, and last night was the season premiere with judges Randy, Steven Tyler, and Jennifer Lopez. And this is the phone call I got when the show ended:
Phone rings, I answer:
My dad: “Hey, who is Jennifer Lopez’s husband?”
Me: “Oh, Marc something, Marc…”
My dad: “Anthony. Marc Anthony. That’s it.”
Me: “Yeah, but they’re getting a div…” and I hear my mom in the background telling my dad, “I told you it wasn’t Ricky Martin.”
My dad: “I thought it was that La Vida Loca guy,” then I hear my mom yell, “No, he’s gay.”
My dad: “Even if he’s gay, she could be his cover up.”
Me: “Dad, he’s out. He has twins and has a partner.”
My head is spinning. Am I really having this conversation with my father??
My dad: “Mommy wants to know who she was married to before that, some rapper?”
Me: “She dated P. Diddy…”
My dad, laughing: “What? P WHO? Who is that?”
Me: “Some rapper but he goes by Sean Puffy Combs, Puff Daddy…”
My dad: “What the hell is a Puff Daddy? Wasn’t she married a few times?”
Me: “I think she was married to one of her dancers a long time ago. She was engaged to Ben Affleck.”
Again, really? What happened to our conversations about whether I have enough washer fluid in my car, or am I going to our credit union’s luncheon on a Saturday afternoon when I have absolutely nothing else to do just for the chance to win a television?
My dad: “Ben Affleck. He’s an actor right? I’ve seen him before. Hey, do you have enough dog food? Make sure you have milk. I’ll pick some up for you if you want.”
Whew, he's back. But it got me thinking about the perfect birthday gift for him. His birthday is next month and I think he might love a subscription to US Weekly.